Thoughts on Death
Originally posted 1/27/11
"There are things that we don't want to happen
but have to accept, things we don't
want to know but have to learn, and people
we can't live without but have to let go."
We never know what life has in store. And nothing shakes up our life quite like the unexpected death of a loved one. It shakes our life clear to its very core. I begin my New Year grappling with the loss of two friends who died on January 1st.
Meg's life was way too short. I feel so much for my friend's husband, their beautiful young children, her mother, her sisters and all her other close family and friends. Meg was such a down to earth, good hearted person, and incredible mother and devoted wife. She was real and kind and intelligent. She made the world a better place. I will miss her deeply.
We know not where the road in life will lead us ....
What I remember most when my father died was how the rest of the world got back to life so quickly as if nothing had changed. There I was feeling like my world had been turned upside down and yet everyone was getting back to the normal day to day of living. For me, normal was a long time in coming. My 'normal' was never going to be the same again.
I think grief always feels unique to each person in a way that makes one feel completely alone and set apart from everyone else. The connection to the person we've lost is a connection unique to us that no one else had and that no one else will ever fill. Losing that one-of-a-kind relationship leaves us feeling such a huge void and so alone. It takes time to heal and to move on, but the emptiness of that void will never be completely filled again. We just learn to live with it. We learn to accept that place in our lives and in our heart that will never again be the same. It's part of this thing called life.
To my friend, Patti Jo:
We met 45 years ago. Can you believe that? I am sad that your journey came to an end so early in life. You were such a big part of my childhood and my coming of age years. I have so many great memories from elementary school to the birth of our sons. Yours was a hard life. I wish it had been full of more of your dreams and much more happiness. Know that I loved you being a part of my life. I'll always treasure the memories; our times together are a part of who I am today.
"Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal."
"Ancient Egyptians believed that upon death they would be asked two questions and their answers would determine whether they could continue their journey in the afterlife. The first question was,'Did you bring joy?' The second was, 'Did you find joy?'"
- Leo Buscaglia
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